37 Plays. 90 minutes. What could possibly go wrong?! Bring the kids! This one is fun for the whole family!

This May, Lovely Calamity Productions invites audiences to stop staring into the void and start pointing at it and laughing. The company kicks off its spring season with the riotously funny and relentlessly entertaining The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), performing for two nights only at the historic Hudson Valley Writers Center.

Written by Adam Long, Daniel Singer, and Jess Winfield, this irreverent romp through the Bard’s folio promises to answer the burning questions scholars have dodged for centuries: Is Hamlet simply too long? and Would Titus Andronicus be more effective as a cooking show?

“It’s chaotic, it’s joyful, and it’s arguably the most fun you can have with a pair of tights,” says producer and director Cristina Noelle. “We are tearing through the greatest stories ever told with a level of theatrical cardio that has to be seen to be believed!”

The production features a powerhouse trio of performers—Michael Cirelli, Michael Rhese, and Matthew Ritacco—who will sprint, swordfight, and wig-swap their way through all 37 of Shakespeare’s plays in under two hours. From star-crossed lovers to bloody histories, no stone is left unturned and no ruff is left un-ruffled.